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It is heartbreaking to be typing this. I am still in shock. Mainland actor, Kimi Qiao Ren Liang is dead. This fact have been confirmed by his studio via weibo. He was only 28.
To pay my tributes to him, I’m going to write him a letter. It is filled with many personal thoughts and emotions. If you just want the bare facts, you can head over to cfensi for a short & succinct post instead.
Hi Kimi, there are many rumours regarding how you died but I refuse to discuss it until an official statement has been released. I understand why people might be so curious and interested in it because this is ideal trash-gossip fodder but I feel offended by them. I wish they would stop it and stop tarnishing your reputation even after your death. Even if it turns out to be true, why can’t they just move on with it and let you rest in peace? That’s the least they can do to show some respect for your death. But honestly, I can’t blame them. If this had been anybody else, I might just be on those people gossiping right now. But because it is you, I can’t and I won’t. I wish you knew your place in my heart.
I won’t label this post as a ‘NEWS’ because the interest in news fade very quickly and their lifespan lasts about three days. You are not a piece of passing news. Your passing is a loss I will always remember.
I’m not exaggerating. I wonder if you know that you have quite a presence here. My very first photoshoot post was dedicated to you. The first variety show I covered was We Are In Love Season 1 where you were easily my favourite out of the entire cast. My very first Weibo Round-up post ended off with a cute picture of you. I even declared my love for you here. You have became a part of my life unknowingly and this is the reason why I am here at 4am, writing a letter to you. I was supposed to be sleeping but I checked my phone notifications in between sleeping and got shocked awake.
When I first saw your news, I was in disbelief. I had hoped that it was some publicity gimmick. That people were trying to rake up views from unfounded rumours. In fact, when I started googling (in english) and saw that ‘Kimi Qiao Ren Liang death’ was not even an offered suggestion, I was hopeful. It was only when I started to search in Chinese and got onto Weibo that I realised… the news have been confirmed by your agency. It is probably factual. Breaking news? Yes. But more like, heartbreaking news.
Like many people, I first saw you in Legend of Lu Zhen. I remember my first impression of you very clearly. I thought that you looked a bit odd initially but you grew onto me over time. There was this aura about you that kept drawing my attention and this is why I remember so clearly about how my impression of you was formed. Now that I think of it, your character and story with Yang Rong (starring as Xiao Huan Yun, your wife) were the best part in that hot mess disguised as a inspirational drama named Legend of Lu Zhen. Despite that, I’m almost ashamed to say that I was eager to move on with my life after that mess and I didn’t bother to find out who was the actor playing the character Gao Yan.
While many people remember you from Cruel Romance as Xiang Yingdong, it was Tiny Time (drama) that had me completely sold. As a fan of Chen Xuedong, I was initially disappointed that he was only acting as a supporting cast instead of Zhou Chongguang like he did in the Tiny Times movies. I eventually realised that was a blessing in disguise because the actor who played Zhou Chongguang in that drama was you. That drama introduced me to you. That drama started it all. I loved your performance in that drama. It might not have been a very popular or mainstream drama but nobody can doubt that you shined in there. After completing that drama, I did a little search on you and realised you were the Gao Yan I liked from Legend of Lu Zhen. And I was immediately impressed. Good in both historical and modern dramas in different ways — that got to be talent.
That was when I started paying attention to you aggressively. That happened to be the period of time you were plastered all over my blog. To tell you the truth, I was never interested in We Got Married (Korean) and the format of that show but I anticipated We Are In Love which was adapted from the former because I knew you were starring in it. In fact, it was through blogging about We Are In Love that motivated me to learn how to take screencaps for my blog. I would like to thank you for motivating me to be better and I’ll also thank you on behalf of my readers because they get pretty screencaps all thanks to you. While we are at this topic, I’ll share some screencaps I had of you from We Are In Love that I never got around to posting.
I just went onto the Youku mobile app and I am heartened to see many tributes paid to you. They have compiled playlists of movies you have starred in so it’s easy for us to find them and rewatch. I just downloaded three of your old movies and I’m ready to marathon them. I guess you would like to be remembered this way, as a good actor with growth (while being handsome and charming at the same time). At least, that’s how I will remember you — at your best.
I’m not sure how I am going to enjoy the recently released So Young 2: So You’re Still Here which stars you as the second male lead (which coincidentally happens to be a semi-antagonistic character I really like). I read the novel and was planning to eventually watch the movie so I can see how the story is butchered but now, I think I will only be able to focus on you if I watch it. I will definitely catch your unreleased works, Stay With Me, when it airs because it is your work but I’m really not sure how I should feel about it.
I’m not sure I have entirely absorbed the fact that you passed away. It still feels so unreal. This was really unexpected and shocking. And I genuinely feel sad. This is not the first time somebody in the entertainment world died young but when I read articles regarding those, I’ll just go “Oh. That’s sad. Rest in peace” and not get affected by it because those people meant nothing to me. But you do. It is the loss of a loved one. Hence, even though I don’t like to harp on sad news, especially in the entertainment world where we are all seeking pleasure, I will be sticking this post as the top post for as long as I want to. You deserve to be remembered.
Kimi, oh, Kimi. I hope you are in a better place. I wish you are happier now. I’ll miss you. Please rest in peace.
I’m sorry if this chunk has been incoherent. I just wanted to get all these off my chest. Life is short. Unexpected things happen. Cherish the people around you. Show them you care. Tell them you love them. Don’t wait for it to be too late. Don’t make it a regret.
I love you, Kimi.
SkimmedMilkDRAMA 
I could only like your comments – his death is indeed very sad and far-reaching. Thanks for sharing your feelings.
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i started to notice this young, handsome, charming, talented, but he grabbed you with his beautiful smile and happy eyes greeting you, and Kate, I’ll always will remember Kimi in that first drama I ever saw him in which was “Stay by Me”. Ever since, I’ve been looking up dramas, movies, what have you about him, to actually watch this young man with such acting skills that draws you in, he had that special something that held you right there along with him, I just admired him for capturing his audience and me that way. He looked to be a very hard-working, sincere, honest, actor full of promise that how can he not succeed in this film industry. I loved him in “We are in Love”, and thought what a lucky actress to be a part of that program with him in it. Even if it’s a pretend, boyfriend/girlfriend or even fake wedding, I would want to be in her place 100% of the way, just to be next to him and wish if I could “Stay with Him”. I would love to go through all those antics, adventures, have him sing to me, hold me, hug me, say all those lovely things to me and never stop, he would be all I need to love and care for him in this world that he created around me forever. He appealed to me especially as a couple on that show because he showed us how to lovingly treat a special someone, he definitely payed attention to her, had lots of fun memories that they shared together, how lucky is she for that. She even got introduced to his parents which is unforgettable and so special. I came away after seeing that episode and wishing that I had a boyfriend just like him, I would love him, care for him forever; just to have him look at me with those loving eyes, and smile away all my problems, anxieties, whatever. He could do all that for me and in return I’d work hard to dissolve and make sure all his problems would disappear just like that, because I felt he was such a loving, special human being who couldn’t hurt a fly. It is so rare in this society nowadays to come across such a special, delightful, loving, happy, human being as Kimi, he definitely had it all. He is in my heart, in my memory of all that I’ve seen of him and can only wish eternal peace and happiness in the hereafter for him. May he rest in peace, God keep him in your embrace.
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This was a very touching and beautiful tribute. Thank you for sharing. Kimi will be deeply missed by many of us. I also have fond memories of him as Chongguang in Tiny Times — he and Chen Xuedong both nailed the character.
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I think kimi performs better than chen because chen is not lovely like chongguang in real life
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This was just so beautiful and touching, Kate 😦 my eyes were almost tearing up. There’s a part of me that wished I had watched him at least once but at the same time I don’t or I would probably never get over this. Sending you all virtual hugs possible! I know so many people suffering from depression which makes me want to pursue more and more my career in the field of Psychology. I wish there was some way that Kimi could be helped but I guess he’s happier now that he doesn’t have to deal with his demons.
Thank you very much for this post. You will always be remembered, Kimi 🙂 rest in peace!
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Thank you. I really thought it was a prank when I found out about his death after you told me. Jiayou in your career in psychology, I’m sure you’ll be able to help a lot of people. Each death caused by depression is one too much. I’m also glad that Kimi doesn’t have to deal with his demons now but knowing that the only way out he could find was death breaks my heart. I guess I can only find comfort in the fact that he was probably at peace with himself when he finally decided to do it. Rest in peace, Kimi.
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I thought it was a joke at first when I saw your tribute. I still cannot believe it. Any death is sad,but suicide is just the worse. I wonder if he thought of his parents? They must be devastated and heart broken. His symptoms really remind me of Leslie Cheung and Barbara Yung. Depression is just so devastating. Barbara Yung was just like what you said. Instead of facing a problem, she would rather pick suicide as a way out which is very sad. I really wonder what Kimi was thinking when he decided to end his life? I just cannot get over it….
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I thought it was a joke as well when I first saw the news. I still hope it’s a joke. I would gladly forgive him if he jumps out right now and declares that everything was fake and simply a publicity campaign to raise awareness for depression. Indeed, a suicide is the hardest to accept. Really makes the people around wonder how unobservant they have been and even guilty for not realising.
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Except if it’s a disease of the mind, there’s no real “choice” involved if their mind is mentally unwell. I read how a wife “witnessed” her husband’s death because he locked himself in the bathroom and finally killed himself while she was right there across the bathroom door. In fact, the way to talk to a suicidal person is not to say “you have so many other things to live for”, which is what a rational person would think of, including “think about what you’re leaving behind”. If they cannot even save themselves, how can you expect them to think about others?
But I was definitely shocked about his death. I knew him from Cruel Romance and I thought he had a lot of love for people since he showers Joe Chen with it. I found it kinda adorable he kinda mothers her when she’s actually older than him. I wouldn’t think someone who’s so thoughtful about others could be depressed inside. Oddly, the way I found out about this news was through Youtube. The title of the video was Kimi’s last conversation with mom while alive; I thought his mom passed away…then I realized that interpretation doesn’t seem to make sense and wikipedia confirmed the date of death for me.
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Oh my gosh, I am sooo sad and shocked! Why did he suddenly pass away? What a wonderful tribute to him. I used to see him in so many dramas. How did this happen? He was so young. Hope that he in a better place and may he rest in peace!
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It was suicide caused by depression. I know, I was so shocked when I first heard the news too. He was so young and filled with sunshine. In fact, I still can’t accept the fact that he’s gone now. i also hope he is in a better place now. RIP.
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Thanks and I just found that out and told my mom. She was shocked and still cannot understand why people suicide due to depression. I also still cannot accept the the fact that he is gone. I still remember over 30 years ago, late HK actress Barbara Yung committed suicide due to depression as well. It was very sad and devastating as well,but the only good thing is that to this day,she is still remembered,missed and loved by many all over the world. I sincerely hope that even many years from now that Kimi will still be loved, missed and remembered just like Barbara. I have a good feeling that he is in a better place and my deepest sympathies to his family,friends and fans!
I also must say that I wished he seeked help as he has many friend that would help him. But of course I know how scary depression is as I experience it as well. What a tragedy! I will remember him for the rest of my life.
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T_T just so sad, he was the one opened Chinese drama door to me. I loved his pink hair all cute and rebellious. Can’t believe it, depression is really scary thing, I would have never thought he would suffer from this such a bubbly innocent person. That amazing bright smile hide everything.
We always want our loved ones live 1000 years, it’s sad he died so young. Like you, he also have and will always have special place in my heart and I think many others. Writing this with minimal sleep cried so much. Read somewhere his agency did everything to help him; therapist, less work, more rest. They thought he was better but I guess no one can see other person true state of mind.
But end the end.. how sad his dead is I think he is happy and at rest now.
Rest in heaven beautiful boy! T__T
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Yes, I loved him, his love of pink and his eyeliner as well. He always had the brightest smile on. I never suspected anything at all. In fact, almost all the photos I picked for this post was him smiling brightly. I can only imagine the pain he must have gone through. This beautiful boy will always live on in our heart. I hope he is happier now.
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T__T Kimi’s funeral is gonna held tomorrow (for me cause I live in Netherlands) so made a tribute video as soon I got off school. That’s at least I can do.. im so sad.
https://youtu.be/qaga5BAzOPg Be happy KIMI
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Very nicely put. It’s really sad. I lit a digital candle for Kimi Qiao. Light a candle for him, too and share it for others to see http://www.fieldofcandles.com/Candle/Profile/54662 #NeverGone #RIP
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Thank you for the thought but I believe you used the wrong photo. I appreciate your act of remembering him but I sincerely hope this is not a promotional or advertising gimmick of any sort. That would be a low blow, both for the dead and those grieving. May Kimi rest in peace.
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Kimi is such a dear part of my heart. I am taking it really hard and I keep trying to distract my thoughts so I don’t weep anymore. I’ve left my last words for him on other media outlets and I’m very comforted as I read yours. Thank you for having actually written about him and not just glossing over him as the second lead. He’s left us too soon, but we’all continue to hold him in our hearts. He is free from his suffereings now.
I don’t know any Chinese but I’ve gotten in touch his Fanclub in hopes of being able to arrange for flowers delivered to his service. If you have any information please let me know. It would help to heal my heart. Thank you Kate.
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Hi, I’m so glad you left a comment here so we both know we are not going through this alone. I understand how you feel, even as I get along my busy everyday life, the thought of Kimi will pop into my head every now and then and I’ll feel sad again. Indeed, Kimi left this world too early, but he won’t leave our hearts. I‘m sorry I don’t know anything about his funeral yet but I’m very appreciative of your act. Please don’t go through this sadness alone, if you need someone to talk to, I’m here. If it makes you feel any better, Kimi once wrote a note to his fans when he first debut in 2007 which was something along the lines of, if he was gone one day, he hope that the fans who love him will not be sad and not tear for him. I’m sure Kimi, who worked hard to smile for us until the very end, would not want to burden us with unhappiness. Let’s work hard to smile and be happy for him too. We shall not forget him and we shall also not be trapped in sadness.
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Thank you Kate, and thank you for that translation. What a rare treasure on this planet, I guess he’s just been called home. I just saw his funeral details today and booked a local Shanghai floral shop to deliever a flower stand to the service. Along with myself and other Kimi fans, who would have thought that the first thing we buy for him would be white flowers? I miss this sunshine boy with all my heart. It’ll just take time to heal. Thank you for allowing me to express my sorrows as I know you admired him a ton as well. It’s just not the same to say so on other blogs. Please take care dear. =)
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It’s been two days already. To be very honest, I wasn’t as affected by his death as I thought I would. But as soon as I read your letter to him, I started to bawl. I was quite a big fan of him a while back. I pray for him and offer condolences to his family, I hope his family and friends would not be too affected by the sick rumors on the internet.
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I didn’t expect be so upset over a celebrity’s death but an unexpected suicide by one of the most sunshine and smiley actor I knew hit me really hard. It made me question a lot of things in life. I’m not sure how his family feel because even as a fan, I feel that the media and netizens have gone overboard. It is tough enough dealing with the death of a loved one and now they have to deal with all these incessant bothering which was probably what drove Kimi to death. I can only hope his friends and family stay strong amongst all these.
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When I finally accepted his death, one of the first people I thought was you! 😦 Because out of all the bloggers I know, you were his biggest fan (I got most of his updates here). This is just heartbreaking and way too sudden. I just wish him to be happy now. He was a wonderful actor and it is such a shame to see him part away with us so young..
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I don;’t think I fully accepted his death yet. I can’t believe after a year of not blogging about him, the next update of him… would be to announce his passing. How I wish I could be blogging about Kimi giving out cute fan service while promoting for his current film/upcoming drama or how Kimi and Joe Chen are the cutest pair of besties around instead…. It is a shame he left early but it is more shameful that even with his departure, the media and netizens are still not letting him off the hook. I hope he found the peace he needed and that his family and friends will stay strong through this ordeal.
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I know! He was in full promotional mode for Stay With Me. He even did a quick interview with MangoTV that got released only yesterday. In it, he was worrying for Chen Qiao En’s health. :((( Yeah, the media is being really harsh about it. He is the first of this generation of idol/actor to pass away.. so media is having “fun”. They should let him rest..
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It always sad when a person takes their own life -leaving the world wondering “why?”. I pray he rests in peace and will be long remembered in his performances.
fiddledeedeebooks.wordpress.com
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Thank you for writing this genuine and sincere tribute to Kimi Qiao Ren Liang. I remember wanting to watch the Xu Lu/Kimi Qiao couple on WAIL mid-last year but I didn’t get a chance because I never was able to find streams that had English subtitles. Recently, I decided to look it up again and started watching them only to find out about Kimi’s passing. Anyway, he seemed like such a down to earth and talented man. Your tribute made me teary-eyed (not in a bad but bittersweet way). Rest in peace, Kimi Qiao Ren Liang.
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Watching WAIL, it is hard to imagine that Kimi was someone struggling with depression. He was oozing so much positive vibes in that show and his smile was so radiant.
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Reading in on 2017 and still think that it’s such a waste that he left.
Watching Stay With Me right now somehow makes me feel like he’s still alive.
Btw, thanks for writing such a wonderful post attribute to Kimi.
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It’s been exactly 6 months today. It is indeed a waste, he was too young, too brilliant and too shiny. Fame is not always a good thing.
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Ya. Tho i’m not his big fans, but still i still think he is talented actor.
Fame always come with some side effects i guess.
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Si vous pouvez traduire… Je ne parle pas très bien anglais (I speak french very well, not english… Sorry).
La dépression est vraiment quelque chose de très dévastatrice et effrayante comme vous l’aviez mentionné tantôt dans votre commentaire. Je crois qu’une personne en dépression chronique n’arrive même pas à demander de l’aide surtout lorsqu’on doit toujours entretenir une certaine image et conserver une notoriété… Je crois que la déferlante médiatique de la maladie effraye encore plus pour les personnes dans le milieu du showbiz. Les gens ont tout simplement besoin d’amour et d’amour véritable. Non pas d’un amour qui s’acquiert grâce à nos performances parce que derrière les caméras, il y a des personnes qui sont vraiment seules.
Le milieu du divertissement est difficile et pas que, la vie est difficile si nous devons mériter de l’amour. L’on vous aime parce que vous performez et le jour où vous ne perfommez plus et bien vous tombez aux oubliettes… Ce qui emmène les gens à toujours faire davantage. Ce n’est pas leur faute, c’est plutôt ce à quoi elles ont été habituées.
L’amour véritable, inconditionnel, profond et éternel, ne peut se trouver qu’en une seule personne : JÉSUS CHRIST.
Que vous soyez Star, personnalité publique, citoyens lambda…lui vous aime très très fort comme vous êtes et vous n’avez pas besoin de performance pour vous faire accepter ! Aujourd’hui si vous voulez en savoir plus vous pouvez consulter les évangiles de la BIBLE sur internet ou vous en procurer en format papier. Dieu vous aime démesurément à un point où vous ne pouvez même pas vous imaginer !
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think you for your tiibute , I felt love with him since I know something about him. He will come back and tell us all that he lives well
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Υou may plаy it anytime you want.? Daddy answered.
?Because talқing about һow great God is makes him blissful and its worship.
Play it earlier than you fall asleep tօnight and if you wake up within the morning and God might be close to you all day long.
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This is a beautiful tribute ❤ thank you so much for sharing
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